A man dies and goes to Hell. There, he finds that there is a different Hell for each country.
First, he goes to German Hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He is told, "First, they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then, they lay you on a bed of nails for an hour. Then the German Devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day!"
The man did not like the sound of that at all. So he moved on to the USA Hell, which was the same. Then he went to Russian Hell, and many more. He discovers that they are all the same, electric chair, bed of nails, and a beating.
Then, he comes to the Iraqi Hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.
Amazed, he asks what do they do here?
He is told, "First, they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for an hour, then the Iraqi devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day!"
"But, that is exactly the same as all the other hells. "Why are there so many people waiting to get in?" says the man.
1. No power for the electric chair.
2. Maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work.
3. Some one has stolen all the nails from the bed.
4. The devil is a former government servant, so he comes in, signs the register, and then goes to the canteen!!
British, American and Iraqi ministers died and all went to hell. The British said: I miss England, I wanna call England and see how everybody is doing there. . . he called and talked for about 5 minutes. . .then he said: well, devil how much do I owe you for the phone call???
The devil goes: five million dollars . . . Five million dollars!!! So he made him a check and went to sit back on his chair . . .
The American was soo jealous, he starts screaming, me too I wanna call the United States, I wanna see how everybody is doing too . . . he called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he said: well, devil how much do I owe you for the phone call???? The devil goes: ten million dollars . . . Ten million dollars!!!! So he made him a check and went to sit back on his chair . . .
The Iraqi was extremely soooo jealous too . . . he starts screaming and screaming, I wanna call Iraq too, I wanna see how everybody is doing there too, I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputies, I wanna talk to everybody . . . he called Iraq and he talked for about twenty hours, he was talking and talking and talking . . . then he said: well, devil how much do I owe you for the phone call???? The devil goes: one dollar... Only one dollar?!!!!! said the Iraqi.
The devil goes: yes, well, from hell to hell, it's local!!
There are many things that have transferred from Western culture into the Middle East; one of them is the idea of a marriage anniversary. An Egyptian lady was invited to her friend’s house; when she arrived, she found out it was a party for her friend's wedding anniversary. She met many other friends there too, who all talked about their anniversaries and what their husbands had done for them, signs of how much they loved and cared about them. All this made the Egyptian lady sad that she had never celebrated her anniversary, and it appeared as if her husband did not love her.
The lady came home and started to think about convincing her husband to have a big party for their anniversary. One day she finally prepared herself: she put on nice clothes and made herself look like a bride, then went to her husband and showed him a magic smile and made some lovely movements with her body. Then she sat beside him and held his hand.
"Honey! How are you today? the lady said to her husband.
"Good, my sweetheart. What is going on?" her husband replied.
"Honey, did you ever hear about a marriage anniversary?"
"What is that?"
"People celebrate their marriage anniversaries just like they celebrate their birthdays."
"Hmmm,” her husband said. “You went to such a party yesterday?"
"Yes, honey. But I don’t feel good."
"Because all of the ladies there talked about their anniversaries, and what their husbands had bought for them, but I had nothing to tell them and they all thought that you don’t love me!"
"But you know that I love you, my sweetheart."
"Yes, but people should know that, especially my friends."
The husband thought for a minute. Then he said, "Do you want me to visit them and tell them how much I love you? Do you want me to announce in the city that I love you? As long as you know that I love you, we are fine."
"But everyone else celebrates their anniversary,” the lady told him.
"What? Do you mean that you want to have an anniversary party after all these years?”
"It's only twenty-three years."
"You mean over two decades ago.”
“Yes! It will be exactly next week, and please this time let’s celebrate."
The husband smiled. "No problem, honey. We can have a small party with our children and grandchildren."
But the lady shook her head. "No! I want a huge party. I want you to show all the people in the city how much you love me!"
"So what you want me to do, my sweetheart?"
"I want you to rent the best hotel and invite everybody for dinner. You should buy twenty-three sheep and slaughter them. We are rich and we can afford it!"
Suddenly the husband laughed. "Oh, now I understand. You want me to kill twenty-three sheep for the dumb mistake I made twenty-three years ago!"
An old Kurdish man lived close to New York City for more than forty years. One day he decided that he would love to plant potatoes and herbs in his garden, but he was alone, and knew he was too old and weak. His son was in college in Paris, so the old man sent him an e-mail explaining the problem:
“Beloved son, I am very sad because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, that you would help me and dig up the garden for me. I love you, your father.”
The following day the old man received an e-mail response from his son:
“Beloved father, please don't touch the garden. That is where I have hidden 'THE THING.' I love you too.”
At 4 p.m. that day, the FBI and the Rangers visited the house of the old man and then took the whole garden apart, searching every inch. But they couldn't find anything. Disappointed, they left.
The next day, the old man received another e-mail from his son:
“Beloved father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That is all I could do for you from here. Your loving son, Sarkar.”